Iron Century Piasts: Part 04: 969-980: Fall of the Norse

My guardian Umay understood my homosexual tendencies, and she didn't believe that marrying my brother was the best idea, so arranges for three best speciments of manliness in the world to be my consorts. At least according to her ideas.

Once I reached adulthood, I made sure Yevpraxia, the unfaithful wife who killed my father, died for her sins. Then I bribed the maid to smother her daughter with a pillow, ending the cursed Rurikid line.

I seduced pretty much all the noblewomen in Lithuania, and I got so skillful at it that even my male vassals all loved me for it. I had a baby daughter with one of my consorts. How do they know who's the father exactly?

We've been losing small bits of land to Pechenegs, Norse, and Catholics.

I killed heir of petty king Toste of Uppland, who went close to uniting Sweden, and took county of Novgorod from my husband. Then I tried to kill Toste himself, but he passed of natual causes, splitting his land in two, with the bigger part being inherited by a Suomenusko Finnish boy.

I attacked petty king of Smaland, captured and sacrificed his wife and two daughters.

Then I got myself into a fight against Denmark, which was basically unwinnable except by the fact that king of Denmark was unwilling to split his army or use ships, so he inevitably lost by warscore.

Queen of Norway converted to Catholic in 980, taking all her peasants with her. That's just filthy. Uppland and Denmark are still Norse, but there's little hope for their religion, attacked from all sides.

Peace between Mieszko's children lasted for a while before being finally broken, when Wielislaw of Ruthenia and his sister-wife high priestess Scholastyka of Poland attacked my brother-husband Miroslaw of Novgorod.

I finally managed to get tribal organization and buildings improved enough to go feudal, but it's not clear that it's actually the best idea.

Oh and I joined the Cold Ones, and became the Vedma. If my sister can me high priestess of Perun, I can be high priestess of Chernbog.

Splitting the realm was a mistake, and everyone except me lost some land. That doesn't mean that I approve of this Ruthenia-Novgorod war!

At least I managed to defeat the Norse threat, and Pechenegs seem busy fighting Bulgarians and each other.

Norway mass-converting Catholic and Khazar expansion are new threats. When will we have peace?